It’s very rare to see my mom in photos. Although she’s one of the most beautiful women I know, she avoids the camera like the plague!! It’s also very rare to see the 3 of us (my brother, my sister & myself) in a picture because we all lead very busy lives. Since moving out, getting engaged and buying a house.. My little ones have decided to grow up way to fast and landed themselves in gymnastics, basketball, dance and baseball! RJ is in 2nd grade and Kayla is Kindergarten… pause for reaction!
I’ve never lived under normal circumstances and I’m a better woman because of it. My mom had me at just 17 years old, and although she will never admit it, I was a mistake! Obviously the best mistake of her life 😉 Growing up, I lived with my mom and my Mummum (my mom’s mom). My mom and I also lived with my dad, sometimes in Mummum’s house, sometimes in a house right in TR! The majority of my childhood I shared a room with my mom and thought it was the coolest thing ever, until about 6th grade.. She gave me everything she had. She’d balanced her checkbook so I’d have new school clothes, she made sure I had the best lunch even when she couldn’t afford to feed herself. At the time of course I took it all for granted. See my blog post Dear 16 Year Old Self. Now of course I am more thankful than ever. I try to repay her but I know I will never have enough love to give her to ever show her how much I appreciate everything she did for me. And of course there’s Mummum, I lost the chance to show her how much I appreciate everything she did for me about 3 years ago.. That’s still something I just can’t seem to dry my eyes enough to write about.
My mom got pregnant with RJ when I was 18! I lived a full, happy life as an only child and I was MORE than ready to become a big sister! I remember her pulling up to my high school to pick me up from cheerleading and telling me, once I got in the car, that I was going to be a big sister!!! I was ecstatic! FINALLY! RJ was a twin.. when my mom lost RJ’s twin, they weren’t fully developed yet. From what I remember about this, the loss of the twin wasn’t as heart breaking as what lied ahead of us in the coming years after RJ. RJ was was born a healthy, handsome, ready to take on the world little boy. He was my brother and I was going to love and protect him until the day I die.
After RJ, my mom wanted to have just one more! When she finally found out she was pregnant again, she got a little more than she bargained for.. we were told she was having TWINS! Holy cow, TWINS! We were all a little shocked, but we were ready! We mentally prepared ourselves and I was beyond excited. RJ kept us all busy during the beginning of my moms twin pregnancy, I believe he was around 1 or 2 years old. I remember not much being done yet for the new babies to arrive.. My mom was just about 5 months pregnant when she was upstairs in RJ’s room calling for an ambulance because she knew something wasn’t right with one of the unborn twins. It was May 6th, 2008, only 5 months into her pregnancy, when one of the twins was born.. A little boy named Andrew, too young to live outside of the womb, became our angel. I was up at college and was told not to come home. My mom, Mummum and Richie got to hold him. The hospital made a little box with a hat they put on him, a blanket, his foot prints and a small ring that they were able to slip onto his arm as a “bracelet” that’s how tiny he was. They took some pictures and kept it in that box. The next days following were very blurry. I think I came home to help around the house because my mom was bed ridden in order to keep the other twin safe.. It was May 9th, just 3 days after Andrew became our angel, that we met Anthony, Andrew’s twin. Twin boys. Again, too small to live outside the womb, the hospital made a box with the same items as Andrew’s. I didn’t get to see them in person and many think its better that way. I dug up the courage a few weeks after they passed to look at “the boys” boxes. That’s what we call them, “the boys”. It was rough after that.. still a huge blur, but we were all so lost, worried for mom’s happiness, confused by how this could happen to us. A year went by..
If you know my mom, you know she’s a fighter. Literally the toughest woman I know. She asked me, do you want to know if I get pregnant again? She asked me this because she wanted to try again but knew the heart break we’d all gone through after losing the boys. I said no. Christmas break of my junior year in college came. I was cranky LOL and my mom was too excited for me to come home. She said she had an “early Christmas present” for me to open. I wasn’t excited because we always opened 1 present before Christmas day and this year I only asked for boots and a jacket.. I got home, she sat me on the couch before I even was able to take my shoes off and said “OKAY DO YOU WANT TO OPEN YOUR PRESENT?!” I was annoyed, “Uhm I guess.. why are you so giggly” I said to her and my step dad who could not contain their excitement. Literally angered by not knowing what the hell was going on, I go to reach for the huge gift bag sitting on the coffee table in front of me when my mom grabs it before I could and puts on the ground. This all happened very fast: I sat back in the couch, my mom moved her robe to show me her belly and I squinted my eyes to read the words BABY SISTER across her belly.. I was a rock, I couldn’t move, or maybe I couldn’t read, I was confused.. My mom turned to the side and I saw a protruding belly.. a PREGNANT belly!! I fell off the couch and buried my face in my hands, sobbing! Mom slowly walked over to me, placed her hand on my back and carefully said, “Are you sad or happy??” I looked up and screamed, “HAPPY” and hugged her!!! Kayla was born 3 short months later! Beautiful, healthy, crying little Kayla. Because of my mom’s unique circumstances with the boys she had been going to a high risk doctor.. a doctor who was asked by TLC to feature my mom and her story on their show A Baby Story. We decided we wanted to share our story with the world and it all was documented on the show A Baby Story: Baby Tedeschi. It reruns ALL THE TIME! I get text messages from friends saying they’re watching me on TV. One of the best parts about having that episode is having my Mummum be a part of it. It’s an amazing memory to have for so many reasons.
We have our angels, the boys, watching over us. Watching and helping my little brother and sister grow up was an amazing experience. It set me up for motherhood and I cannot wait to one day become a mother. Although I no longer live with RJ and Kayla they are one of the biggest parts of my life. They mean more to me than they will ever know and our bond is unique. Just like my life has always been. I wouldn’t change a single thing.